Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in Thane Camus' LiveJournal:

Sunday, February 23rd, 2003
3:50 am	I know, I know, I am being terrible about updating, but hopefully you are all watching me on television daily! ^_~ If you happened to be doing so, you may have noticed that tonite was doubtless the best nite in channel 7's history. First, they start off by showing some old SMAP material in which Nakai and everyone's beloved SHINGO have mullets! hah! Showing your true colors, I see, boys! Who's the mullet-master now? That's right. ^_~ Immediately after this triumph, I was on talking about my encounters with aliens. Some of you may not know that I have had several experiences of the extreterrestrial kind, but tonite I decided to break my silence and talk about it. it was encouraging to be around so many Japanese people who got anal probes, which didn't happen to me, although the aliens ARE responsible for my proximity to the Hello Project! ^_~ That's right, minna-san, Morning Musume is mostly made up of aliens, as if you couldn't have already guessed! My Black Army is also mostly alien. They tend to make themselves dark-skinned, you know, because it's easier to cover the natural greens and blues if you make yourself dark. Pale blue skin just doesn't look normal here on Earth! ^_~ You know, aliens worship me as the god of winking and Active English! Aliens know that Active English is vastly superior to that stupid throw-away stuff that Shingo churns out. HAHA SMAP, I SAW YOU WITH MULLETS! I also saw a re-run of some other show which featured Shingo being forced to go on a date with an extremely ugly Japanese girl, and to find out where they'd go she had to roll dice, but she had the luck of a dead cat and instead of eating, they were forced to watch fat japanese men in women's bathing suits swim in ramen. It took me a while to realise that the guy in this show was, in fact, Shingo, because he had brown hair instead of freakish white. ^_~ (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 8th, 2003
5:20 pm	I would like to do a bit of whining for a moment on subject rather near and dear to the size of my wallet: Japanese television shows. As some of you may know, I have been and continue to be present on a large number of them. I would be willing to bet I make at least as many appearances as those SMAP brats do. But just last nite I was filming yet another of those shows where it involves me and four Japanese girls watching movies about going to hot springs (unfortunately, you never get to see anything in these, other than nature, kimono and tatami floors). Anyway, upon watching it this morning, I noticed that, as usual, they never show my face, especially not close up! How can I capture the hearts of all the ladies in Japan if they do not show a decently close shot of anything other than my hand? It's discrimination I tell you! And as I am a white man, I should be getting that white privelage everyone keeps telling me about! ^_~ Well, I am sorry for not updating as often as I'd like, but I am very busy! Two weeks ago I was back on Mecha^2 and they let me play that inane counting game with them. It was quite fun! I got to dress up like a yakuza person, and I made sure that I had them count ponzu, as it is one of my very favourite foods (despite one of those SMAP boys selling his soul to Konbu). Now, off to okonomiyaki with the lovely ladies of Morning Musume, where we shall continue to plot the future dominance of Hello Project! ^_~ (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 23rd, 2003
10:02 pm	So today a new advertising campaign begins. I have new overly large billboard-type things going up around Japan. Unfortunately they cannot be made to wink, so they are really not very much like me! Hopefully, you can look at my gorgeous self and realise that I do not, in fact, have a mullet. ^_~ Someone actually e-mailed me and asked me why I hate SMAP so much! Well, you know, what it all comes down to is a) their constant abuse of the English language and b) they never invited me to be on their show. Therefore, with the help of Hello Project, I must destroy them. This is my quest in life. It is so important that I am putting mass subjugation of my black army on hold for the moment. I feel Hello Project is better able to assist me in the destruction of SMAP. Also, yes, I do in fact speak English. I am Canadian, you know, eh? (haha ^_~) (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 22nd, 2003
8:30 pm	Today I slept late, then ate lots of taiyaki (my favorite Japanese food! ^_~) in bed and generally made a huge mess. It's nice to not be spending all my nights with stupid Japanese guys, like Shingo does. If there is a more incestuous band than SMAP in the world, I fear for us all! For now I will hide behind the might of my black army and perhaps give a call to the lovely ladies of Morning Musume. Perhaps they'll be willing to aid me in my quest to rid the world of the mind-numbing idiocy that is SMAP! I'd contact Gackt as well, but he's probably too busy being horny (as he always is) or otherwise thinking about his "dears", whoever the hell they are. I notice I've already got some non-SMAP readers, which is joyous! Upon going to their live journals, I see that they are all pure perapera English-speakers like myself, not dirty nihonjin hacks who dye their hair fifteen times a day and hump Gackt's leg while dressed in hideous drag. But to prove that we Westerners are willing to bend down and take the hand of the foreign hoardes who wish to learn our glorious languages, I offer to allow the SMAP boys to attend my English-language school for free. Call 03-5771-6105 and we shall set something up. I know now that attempting to educate these morons is a burden I must offer to shoulder, for the good of all poor gaigokujin who get dragged onto their show and frightened either by Shingo in animal suits, Shingo's hair, or Shingo's attempts to speak English, not that any of them are any better, but at least nobody else has as many colours of hair as Goro has cats. And now for more taiyaki. As I said back when I was on Mecha^2 (I note that none of the members of SMAP have ever been on Mecha^2 and the guys there speak much better English than anybody in any way related to SMAP), "MMMMMMMMMMM...delicious! ^_~" They even subtitled that, as is their weird Japanese television habit. Hope all of you managed to catch that edisode, as it featured me in my skivvies, and I must say I am a very sexy boy! ^_~ Til tomorrow! (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 21st, 2003
10:43 pm	Well, it seems the lesser forms of filth in this glorious country have already found this live journal and polluted it with their foul attempts at the English language. Little do they seem to realise that my army will soon overtake them and I will reign supreme over the Japanese idol schene! Shingo seems to think that I'm a mean person, but really it's just that these SMAP boys are so pushy and effervescent that there is no way any sane person can long tolerate their blatant misuse of the fine English language. My grasp on Japanese is far better than their knowledge of English. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
3:11 am	Hey Everybody! Hi there! Welcome to my live journal! I noticed all the SMAP guys had journals, so I decided that I would get one myself and show them how to SPEAK ENGLISH PROPERLY! Poor fools. They should just stick to the Japanese in their blogs. Who does Shingo think he is kidding? NOBODY is fooled! Til tomorrow, everyone! ^_~ (19 Comments |Comment on this)